Thank you
Oh my, a grenade!
Bye-bye
I'm sorry, the lift's out of order
Sorry. Bye-bye
Don't move!
Over there! Hurry! Where is he? Over there!
Aren't you through with it yet?
I'm tuning the engine...
Eh, no no... fixing the steering wheel
Now your car's going to be hot,
hotter than Indian curry
If I didn't promise your late father I'd look after you,
I'd have thrown you into the ocean
I'm sorry
Now what's next?
Airplane
What?
A pleasure boat
What?
Oh no, flying a kite
Then get on with it!
Yes, to fly a kite, fly a kite
Get on with it!
Bye-bye
Hello Roberto
Hello, Monty, long time no see
Hello Monty, had a nice time in Hong Kong?
No!
Godfather's not happy
Me too
He's waiting for you, good luck, Monty boy
Gracia, Gracia
Don Antonio
Go find your mama, baby Monty my son
Don Antonio, I'm sorry
You're sorry, what's the matter with you? Ah? What's the matter with you?
Don Antonio
Every time you make a mistake you come back to me and give me a lot of bullshit,
now tell me who did it?
White gloves
Is him? Where is he now?
He's in Venice
So I believe you my boy
I never lie to you Godfather
But now, you go to Hong Kong and get me the diamonds
Why me?
You do as I say, or you'll be dead fish
You can use my connection sin Hong Kong
I can lose the diamonds
but I cannot lose Italian's face, Capice!
But I'm British!
Stupid
You still don't know British and Italians are cousins
I've never heard of it
Diamonds or your life!
Sir, according to our investigation...
Hold it, you don't have to speak English to foreigners,
you can speak Chinese
Hua, you carry on
A robbery has recently taken place in Tsimshatsui Centre
An invaluable consignment of diamonds
was stolen and strangely enough,
the case was not reported
Let's have a look at the information we've gathered
This is Szeto Bud-yen,
a local gangster who deals in loot
This is an up-and-coming leader of an international smuggling syndicate,
and Italian by the name of Monterosso
In this robbery,
Szeto didn't suffer any losses,
and the Italian hadn't made a report either
The only clue that's left at the scene
was a white glove
We have no further information I complete blank
The above information is furnished
by our informer Squealie
Because of the extraordinary status of his identity
we cannot disclose his name
We all know him, it's Ming the Muddlehead
Quiet, don't ruin the atmosphere
This is the world's most renowned burglar White Glove
He specializes in diamonds and gold,
has 7 passports, 8 names, 9 identities
and 2 sexes
That he has this time graced our city
with his presence is indeed our honour,
but at the same time our misfortune
So we must get in touch
with his arch enemies and enlist their help
Arch enemies?
Yes, he has two of them
The first is Peter Sellers, the Pink Panther
but the Lord has called him to His side
The second is...
Hey, get out of the way!
The super sleuth from the USA, Kodojak
Because of White Glove,
he was demoted from a single/single/flush to a no letter/no flower,
from a sergeant to a constable
And his superiors have told him that
if he didn't capture White Glove in three months' time
he could draw his pension, go back to his home town and wash dishes
And so we decide to bring Kodojak here
because he is most keen on getting White Glove
We'll also be assigning this year's Most Outstanding Youth Award winner,
our lady superintendent Ho Tung-see
Ah, that shrew!
To assist Kodojak
in this case
Excellent idea!
Hey buddy, you got a light?
Wow, it's a babe!
Come on baby, light my fire
Yeah but her outfit's a bit conservative
Don't let appearances deceive you
So you guys wanna look?
S u re!
Now don't blink!
So you want a light, eh?
Don't drive me mad or my gun's gonna discharge
It's all his fault, I got nothing to do with it
We won't do it again, ma'am
Let's go. It's all your fault!
You say it's my fault?
Why didn't you bring a light
along with your cigarettes?
Come on, let's go out of here
What're you looking at? Ain't never seen a woman's legs?
No, I'm just admiring your holster
Superintendent Ho, are you here to meet Kodojak?
I am not got time for that
I come here to look for Squealie
How're you going find him in this crowd?
Don't you worry about that
He's surface when I shout
Squealie!
Not here!
Now hold it right there!
Gotta run!
Hold it!
Come on down here
There's no one around now, don't take it so seriously
I'm covering you up. What've got for me?
3 clues, two are good and the other's bad
Let's hear the good ones
The good ones are: Baldy is arriving from the States today
and you've been assigned to work with him
How did you get to know our top secret?
I'm an informer
And then?
And then there's going to be a robbery
at the Chow Tai Fok Jewellery in Kowloon City
How do you know it's today?
I picked the day for them
What? Is today a good day?
No, it's a lousy day
And what about the bad one?
The bad one
is your superiors said you wouldn't be at the airport today
and told me to do my rounds here
And I have to run into you
What rotten luck!
Rotten luck, eh?
The plane has landed
Yes, the plane has landed. Go wait for him, I got to go work on a case
What case?
None of your business. Anyway it's hot
- Wind against Water, - Snow against Wind,
White against Red,
- Four Great Happiness, - Young husband,
- Losing is tough, - Winning is fun
I'm Benny Chan
I'm Albert Au
That's my cover name
Same here
Hey boss,
someone's gonna hold you up in a minute
Don't get alarmed, I'm here
Nobody moves, it's a hold up, Get away from here
Don't move, What抮e you try to do? Lie down here!
Everybody stand against the corner, get moving!
Get a move on and fill it up!
What're you looking at? Turn your face away!
Attention all units,
alarm at the Chow Tai Fok Jewellery in Kowloon City
Check out the situation
Where's the Chow Tai Fok Jewellery?
Just around the corner,
Let's go then
We're all set, chief
Good. Go get a car. Don't move
Don't move. Get back in there, or I'll blow your brains off
Don't move
We're ready, chief
Don't come after us
Let's get going
Get out, the Royal Hong Kong police now requisitions your car
Where's the key?
Right here... Ha ha ha!
- Be quick - Drive fast
It's hard to be slow but it's easy to be fast
- What are you doing? - To hell
Do you want to send us to hospital?
I'll shoot you. Watch out!
Drive
Do you know how to drive, Baidhead?
It's just an accident
Just drive, hurry up
Shit, do you know how to drive?
Come down, cop is here
I'm a cop in USA
You're cop? You still have accent
Are you illegal immigrant?
No
These things can be bought everywhere
It's sold at 30 cents at Temple Street
Look, I catch a thief for you
Come in here
Get away. Sit down
Who among you four is the chief?
Chief
Buffalo, monkey, book them
You with a beard, come over here
Move away
Sit
Thank you
Over there
Okay, okay
You didn't get me this time
Country bumpkin, are you familiar with the law of Hong Kong?
No, I'm not familiar with the law of Hong Kong,
but I know everything about law in the States
Kid from the mainland, how dare you go so far as to commit robbery?
When did you arrive?
Just now
Did you swim or climb over the hills?
I came in on a flight
You got friends and relatives in Hong Kong?
No relatives and no friends that I know
But there's one person who knows me
Who is that?
The Governor
He called and invited me here
Smart and slick, eh!
Peasant, you have the right to remain silent,
but anything you say...
may use against me in court Is that right?
Your name?
Albert Au. Au Shui-keung
So it's become popular to have an English name in the mainland
Where's your hometown?
Tai-shan
Are you married?
No. You?
None of your business. Sex?
Ma'am, I have a beard
So what?
That means I'm a man. Look at you!
Your head don't look like a man's, your body don't look like a woman's
Put them together you don't look like a man or a woman
What's your sex?
What抮e you trying to do?
I didn't hit you and you hit me? Don't move!
Excellent, excellent Absolutely marvelous!
Super sleuth Kodojak, you're as good as they say
Not really. This lady is even better
Of course Superintendent is very good
She is also very efficient, but a little slow with the gun
I've specially arranged for her
to assist you on this case
She? No thanks
And to cover up your identity,
you two will pose as a married couple
What? Him as my husband?
How can he be worthy of it with his looks?
Look at that face
You bitch! I'll take you
Fatty, have you booked me a room at the hotel?
Yes
Get a room next to mine for her
I'm going to be her husband
Don't imagine it!
Are you scared of him, Superintendent Ho?
Me, afraid of him?
I'm just not used to hotels Stay at my place, I dare you
Your place?
You chicken?
Me chicken? I'm not afraid even if her place is haunted
Hey Baldy, don't treat me like a woman
The whole precinct treats me like a man
And remember
We're only pretending to be married Don't you take it seriously
Oh come on, I've seen it all before
What's the big deal? Come on out, sissy
According to my contact's information,
those diamonds were stolen by him
He is called King Kong His nickname is Flying Frog
He has a partner called Bullshit Spring
This is Bullshit Spring. He is women's sweetheart
He has many women's phone numbers
They never show up after they did it
King Kong lives at 5th floor
Hello
Hello, King Kong, I'm Bullish Spring
- Not my name again - No...
Red Cat calling Black Cat, over
Black Cat roger. Please speak
I'm going to hide those diamonds
- Not diamonds again - Peanuts
I'm going to tell you where I hide the peanuts
Don't tell me. I'll say it out in dream
I know that, but you know...
we'll screw up if I don't tell you
Why?
Because I've fooled around with Madman's sister
How dare you!
You're going to die
Why don't we talk at a restaurant?
Okay, which one?
I can't tell you now
How can I know if you don't tell me?
Let me tell you secretly. Listen, Black Cat
It's Seven Heavens Restaurant
I can't hear it. Please speak louder
Idiot!
Seven Heavens Restaurant, sick cat
Go now, Black Cat is waiting at you
You've fooled around with Madman's sister
Just give back the diamonds to Black Cat
Not diamonds, peanuts
It's him
Ah! White Glove! It's him! Go after him
King Kong!
Oh no, it's her!
Stay right there, King Kong!
Not that one, the other one!
You trying to kill me?
Learn to drive for a few more years
You bastard!
Bye-bye, Baldy
Don't you go, don't you go... I'll catch you
Hold it right there, Flying Spider!
Stop, police
Bye-bye. Chai-pau, bye
Stop!
A table for how many sir?
I'll help myself
Panda here. The diamonds
No, I mean, the peanuts...
are very well hidden
And I've tattooed the secret respectively
on the bodies of two women
Keep talking, no need to be so nervous
No need to be so nervous? You know how in the movies
the one who's telling the secret always gets killed
before he's half way through talking
Don't worry, the one who listens doesn't get killed
Get it out
The diamonds...
What is it?
I'm shot. Can't you see?
It's only the champagne Get on with it
It's not safe here. Let's go to the washroom
Okay. Now I can talk
Go on
I put the diamonds... I mean, the peanuts in Kowloon...
Wait, hush
Why?
Don't worry, go ahead
I'm deaf, I can't hear anything
He's dumb. He didn't say anything. Come on, let's go
Eh, what is it?
Mad Max!
Oh no this is the end
Let's slip out from the back
Come in here,
Go on, there's no one here
The peanuts are...
Wait, don't you find this lift kind of small?
Watch it to your right
Keep an eye on your left
Mind your back
It's okay, they are ghosts
You're a ghost!
Take it easy. We'll talk against the Ching and restore the Ming,
the Shaolin monk shaves his head,
the burning of the Red Lotus Temple
What's that?
To repeat every word a second time
Get on with it then
The peapee nutnuts a-are
mm cowkow bonbon
What did you say?
The peanuts are in Kowloon
Ex-x cuse-cuse me-me
Even a girl can do it See how stupid you are
There's nobody in the lift now
Hang on
Over there
Black Cat, I'm up here, I'm scared like hell
Remember that, Rose
What's rose?
Panda, what's going on with you?
What's going on with me? Can't you see?
I'm hanging on in mid-air
Are you okay?
I'm okay. I'm sorry
You won't get the peanuts
That's airtight, Panda, You just remember,
no matter what, we're always an ace partnership
Panda!
I've caught White Glove
He's not White Glove
White Glove is a foreign woman
I'm sure he is the thief...
who stole the diamonds
He doesn't look like a good thief
No
I've an idea. Let me test him
How?
I learned some scientific examination
at Scotland Yard
But you have to work with me
Please take a seat, sir
Leave that. Take a seat
III not answer any questions
before my lawyer arrives
Let's try an IQ test
Better wait until my lawyer arrives
Do you know who I am?
No I don't
I'm Kodojak, the famous No. 1 Chinese inspector
from the US to study at Scotland Yard
Surely you have heard of my name before
Oh yes, yes
Let's co-operate
Better wait until my lawyer arrives
Bastard
Give me your hand
It's not that I don't respect you, but you know... Ow ow ow
What're owing about I haven't even started yet
Now easy does it
Give it to me
Sir, I think we'll try the IQ test
Good
This is a test of reflexes
Produce a hand We'll take turns to hit each other
Whoever hits his opponent is the winner
Who goes first?
Me, of course Put out a hand
- Ah look over - there
My turn
Can we stop now?
Put your hand out
Make up your mind, which one?
This one
You sure it's this one?
Yes
There's my Lawyer
My turn now
Bastard. Where's my gun?
Here
This isn't mine
Yours with her
Are you through with your games?
I know another game
I've been playing it all my life I'll win
What if you lost again?
Then you go free
Come on, come on
It's very simple Hold your ear with the right hand,
put your left hand on the floor and turn five times
Then go forward to pick the card up
If you can do it you win
If not you'll have to work with me
No problem. First you show me how
Easy, like a kid sings a song
Hold the ear, touch the ground,
head down, bottoms up
Make 1 turn, slow and lazy Make 2 turns, simply daisy
Make 3 turns, slightly pacy Make 4 turns, getting dizzy
Make 5 turns, going crazy, See?
I get it, let's go
Okay, let's go
Which side do we start?
Stupid,
follow me
So slow?
I can go faster. I'm making it easy for you. See? Right?
You'll never make it at this speed?
Sure I can, See it's already my third,
fourth and fifth. Right?
I get it. Let's start
Come on
Make 1 turn, slow and lazy Make 2 turns, simply daisy
Make 3 turns, slightly pacy Make 4 turns, getting hazy
Make 5 turns, going crazy Make 6 turns...
Hard work.
Bye-bye
I'm out of form
I used to make it all the time
He's gone, What抮e you up to?
Just taking a breather
Hello
I'm White Glove, I want to kill you
You'll have to wait
Why?
Because there's someone at the door, jerk
Spare me, chief
Stay right here, kid, I'll get my gang after you
Your gang?
That's him. Get him
Ma'am, he's locked himself in
Good. Proceed to step no. 2
Yes ma'am
Police? Someone is trying to break in
You got the wrong number, I am White Glove
I have a present for you, go take a look at the door
What is it?
Exactly the same tactics
as in the diamond job
Your turn, Benny Chan
Don't be scared, I'm right here
I can't get it out
Turn it the other way round
Oh no, look behind you
If it weren't for me you'd be dead
Thank you for saving my life
How do you propose to pay me back?
Wait till my lawyer arrives
Get me up first
I'm now working on the diamond case
I didn't do it
Then I must have got the wrong person
I confess, I confess,
I did it, I did it...
Now where're the diamonds?
I don't know where they are
Don't scare me, my hands might fail
Don't let them! I'll tell you
So where're the diamonds
Panda has them hidden somewhere
And where is Panda now?
He's dead
You're scaring me again
Okay, okay
I promise I'll help you recover the diamonds
And after that
you'll help me get White Glove
Alright, but you'll have to promise me one thing
What is it?
That you won't press charges against me
You have my word
How can I be sure of it?
I swear
Is the bomb ready?
Yes, it's ready
Bring it up
The bugging device?
It's being installed
Who did you send?
Blabbermouth
You can hear him breathe!
Don't worry. Not this time
I can't stay in this place
for more than a minute
It's so dead, How can I live here?
Why don't you eat your supper?
Eat! Look at these steaks
They're absolutely tasteless, awful, disgusting
You punk
And then there's you, Baldy
Rude, repulsive And I have to share a room with him?
And also, the foul air in here
is absolutely, suffocating
See, not a sound to the end
What about the bomb?
It's already up there
Even the doorbell sounds bad
What is it?
Delivering shoes
Must be my sister's Just leave it
Leave it!
Yes
I can't stand it any longer,
I'm going home
I'll be at my place if you want me
Hello
I live here
Me too
So you're home, sis, Don't look at him
He's got red eye disease, Come on in
Sis, who're these two people?
Let me introduce them to you
This guy here you don't need to know
And this one here isn't worth the bother, Sit down
Sit down
Hey! Didn't you say you're leaving?
Yeah, beat it, scram
It doesn't matter Why don't you stay a little longer?
Sister, Japan was a lot of fun
Have you been there before?
Yes
On business?
No, on a job
Hey!
Have you seen that?
He's obsessed with your sister
He can't even know his dad's name now
What's your father's last name?
I haven't the slightest idea
Did you steal the diamonds?
Yes I did
Where did you hide them
Panda hid them
How can we recover them?
He wrote the secret on the bodies of two women
How do I find them?
Now that I've found you
why do I have to look for them, deane
Now you heard it, Baldy
I told you this punk stole the diamonds
Are you pulling my leg?
How would I?
I'd lie to that filthy Baldy and that dirty bitch
but I'll never lie to you
Why're you holding my hand?
So what, we're both men
Now you hear
Only that kid knows where the diamonds are
I now command you
to be responsible for his safety
before he finds the diamonds
Oh no, Ah Cheong's taken the bomb up there
What? Where's Ah Cheong?
Here!
Go up there and bring it back Be quick
There isn't enough time
Why?
There's only time for the trip up, not for the trip down
I don't care. One way or the other I won't let you blow him to pieces
Aren't you gonna leave?
Me, leave? Wow look!
The air has become fresher, Baldy's head has become balder,
the steaks have become tastier, but your sis is a little fierce...
What抮e you say?
Just a teeny weeny little bit
Even the doorbell sounds better,
and I enjoy opening the door better
Wrong address
That's a bit stupid,
these shoes are a bit heavy, and please leave a bit more quickly
It's yours
The Gigolo Joe tattoo...
is from this man, I hope he remember.
Be a buddy and think carefully,
what did Gigolo Joe tattooed on his body lately?
They're always women's names or telephone numbers
He has a whole body of them How can I remember?
Then did he bring any girl for a tattoo?
Yes, and two of them
But he's really outrageous; he wanted them done here
You surely remember what you've tattooed
How? I'd need to install a computer here
to remember everyone who comes in here
Hobo! Another clue gone
A dog's chance we have to find the diamonds
and fat chance you got to go to goal
I won't worry so much
We still have another clue but it's gonna be tough
What is it?
Gigolo Joe shouted Rose
before he died
I suspect that's the name
of a girl friend
Hello there
Did you just come out from the tattoo place?
Yes
Then you must have a picture taken at my place
Why?
Because everyone who's just got a tattoo
comes to my studio
for a picture
Do you think Gigolo Joe...?
No more “do you think”
This is it right here
Rose?
Well, actually we didn't come here for a photo
Then what抮e you doing here?
Get the hell out of here
We come to pick up some photos for a friend
Who is it?
Did anybody have a nude picture taken here recently?
Why, Lo-men did
So you're friends of Lo-men
No, we're friends of Gigolo Joe
I don't know what you're yelping about? Peasant!
You know, the guy who has
his body tattooed with telephone numbers
and mumbles
Yes I know, you mean Panda
That's him
That's pauper! He left two dollars and disappeared
The photos are vital to us
Nothing doing I don't know where I've put them
I'm very busy Go away!
Please take the trouble to...
Let me handle this Keep watch for me
and call when someone turns up
You're in for it now
What do you want? Money?
No
I've a husband
Not a problem
I'm quite old
Just the right age
I'm not even pretty
Better than nothing
What? A stocking!
This way she won't recognize me
You better put one on too, or else she'd recognize you
No
Take it easy please I'll give you the photos
Well done
Ha-ha! Both of them are here
Here I got it
One of the girls works at this taxi service center
Let me do the talking
Why?
You could handle that cause she was an old dame
This one here is a young girl, only I can handle this
I'm not so sure
I was once in a
The Most Charming Man Contest in Chinatown
And?
I won, of course
How many entrants were there?
Just me
Anyway, let me do the talking
Hey! Let's get this clear I'm here doing a case,
so naturally I do the talking
Ouch!
Wow!
What's your problem? Got hit by a ghost?
Let's go and don't waste any more time
Did you run into someone just now?
He hit my waist and knock on my head
Now let me do the talking You just keep quiet
No, I want to talk
I said III do the talking
No, I want to talk
Hush
What?
A car ran into a traffic light outside
the Kowloon Transport Department and the traffic is now jammed up
Yes. Taxi service center, Got it
993, your wife wants to know if you'll be home for dinner
Tell her no
How about having dinner with me, Mary?
Sure, but I'm busy tonight
Miss Mary? Hi
Who are you?
I'm Joe's lawyer,
and this is his father
Hello, daughter
That guy's so ubiquitous
How do I know where the hell he's now?
Even you are cursing him
He really is dead
but we don't know where he died
Really?
Yes, and it was a violent death
And he was calling your name
before he died Poor guy
He was calling my name?
Yes
A lady has lost her beloved Pekingese puppy,
whoever finds it please call in
Councilor Chan, this girl has such a good heart
May God bless... the Pekingese
He's left you an inheritance
An inheritance? How much?
Almost five hundred thousand dollars
American dollars!
Oh really?
They found the Pekingese
Thank you Lord. Thank you Joe
Father, what does this Joe have to do with the Lord?
Make yourselves comfortable
Thank you
Before we can get on with the procedures,
we must have proof of your identity
Sure. I have my identity card here
No! He wants to look at...
the distinguishing marks on your body
That bastard! He even told you these things?
I was drunk that night
Ah ha, so you like drinking
Yes. Okay
A car has caught fire outside the Mongol Fire Department
And a hearse has run over someone
outside the Hong Kong Funeral Home
What a lot of fuss!
You two are really preposterous
You want to look at my ass!
Wow! Just one look and it's$500,000
For$500,000 you can look at mine
Wouldn't you guys as well?
What if I won't let you?
Then the inheritance will atomically
go to his father
You got any proof that he's Joe's father?
I love papa
Where抮e we going anyway?
Here. You can take the photo yourself,
and there won't be any embarrassment
No, it's too embarrassing
But for$500,000...
I don't have any change on me
I do. Please
Don't peep
Airtight. Remember,
not the front, but the mark
It's his daughter getting a photo for her school
She's entering the Miss Hong Kong Beauty Pageant
Oh my brother
Sir, here're your pictures
and suitcase. Bye
Stay right here
Who are you please?
Howdy Max
Who is he?
He's Mad Max who killed Joe
I don't know this guy, You two go on
And who're you?
That was an accident
I wasn't even ready!
Hey kid, it looks tough
It's airtight. We're brothers
Even when you're dead there's still me
Who doesn't know this is my territory?
You got guts to lure my sister for nude pictures
Whose idea was it?
We don't stand a chance if you or I take it on himself;
we might get away with a heavy beating if we both admit it
What do you say?
Deal
Come on, Whose idea was it?
It was our idea
Who thought of this trick?
We both did
Who told my sister to do it?
We both did
You got guts
We both do
Very smart!
We both are
What do we do now?
It'll be alright Confess to some of it
So whose idea was it?
Ah! Mine, at this moment
Aw! It really hurts!
Did you have a part in it?
Confess to some of it, quick!
He said to confess some of it
Help! This is painful
Don't be afraid, just hang on
III come down when I catch my breath
My turn now
My nose's smaller than yours
I have to take a few more breaths
Hurry, hurry
Here I come
It feels so good I really don't want to get back up there
Hey, it's my turn now It really hurts
Say pretty please
Pretty please
Here I come
I'm tricked, Let me down
What's your hurry?
Catch a few breaths up there
You asshole!
Let me down, this is killing me
Let me down! I'm dying. I'm dead
Ha-ha, you're not dead
Never will I die before you
If I hadn't said that, you wouldn't have let me down
Okay, it's my turn now
No wait, I want a full share of air
You cheat!
You're nuts. Who's cheating? I'm catching my breath
You dirty Baldy! You told me to confess,
it was all your idea
So it was your idea
Right, that's right Jab one for me
You punk. You sell me out! You try to kill me with his knife!
Fatso! It was really his idea!
What? Did you hear him?
He called you Fatso, Right? Big brother Max
I said Fatso to his face
It's better than you calling him Max the Pimp behind his back
What?
You punk. You wanna catch a breath Now you're really in for it
Don't you worry
I know it well here Trains don't run through here
They don't?
No train? Ha!
This can run you to pieces Get a move on
It's really nothing, We needn't be hospitalized
And you have to ask for this room on this floor
Just shut up. And stop obstructing the world's movement
Just ring if you need anything
Sur-r-r-r-e!
Hi
Are you two ignoring my existence?
I think III go and get on with my work
Wow! Ha-ha!
I think I've caught her fancy
But you still got nothing going with Chai-pau
What do you mean? I just don't want her
Ain't no use even if you do, She's such a shrew
Where the hell are those two bastards?
Here comes the shrew!
Don't go away I need your help
You two bastards!
Going off on your own to work on the case without me!
I'm going in to give them a scolding
What? How can you say Ho Tung-See's a shrew?
She's my dreamboat, She's a little tough
but a real woman from top to toe
How come you don't see her gentle side
I'm telling you, I'm crazy about her
She's a holy woman
Did you ever see her lose her poise?
She never gave me a harsh word
Standing up, she's a real lady
Sitting down, she's a precious little girl
And she sits so demurely
And so gentle
If you don't believe me, ask her when she comes in
Albert
When did you come in?
Only just now I wanted to tell you...
Go on!
Tomorrow's my birthday
Ha ha ha ha! I got you! I win
What抮e you doing in here again?
I'm just getting my jacket
What is it?
Hi, sis
What is it with my sister?
I never saw her like this before
She's okay
You just better book her a place at the nuthouse
Hello, it's for Chai-pau
Phone call for your sister!
Oh, Ding-dong
Even from outside I heard that I have a... phone call.
Hello
Chai-pau, is that you? It's Squealie
Squealie, you son of a bitch
I told you to check out Mad Max
where the hell were you all this time?
She'll never change
Still have to give her a rougher time
What?
He wants to kill Baldy? You tell him
if he so much as touches Baldy, III get him
And if I find out that you're pulling my head,
III beat the shit out of you!
Mad Max says he wants to kill you
I know. Now go outside
I come to fix the toilet
Done
It's clogged again
Boss. It's done
The remote control
I push this button and you'll be gone
May the Lord be with you
Hey punk! What's this hanky-panky?
Aren't you doing the same thing on me?
Today's Chai-pau's birthday,
go spend some time with her
What about you?
I thought you two want to be alone
The truth please
I've a date with Ding-dong
Wow! What is it?
It's so dark in here Has the electricity been cut?
Albert, don't you notice anything different about me today?
From your out-fit, I can see that
your superiors have assigned you to work as an undercover agent in Temple Street
Get your leg off the couch, you're making it all dirty
Today's my birthday
So what else is new?
Let's open the champagne first
Who did this steak?
I did it myself
Is it your first time?
Yes
Terrible!
Today's your birthday?
Yes
How old are you?
Thirty
Like a flower, congratulations!
Oh no. A man thirty is like a flower,
a woman thirty is like dregs of tea leaves
Why're you still single at thirty?
Nobody wants me
That's true
Did you hear a sound?
What other sounds are there other than those you make?
No! Hush!
Tick-tock, tick-tock It's a bomb!
Get down! Cover your ears!
How come I still hear
this tick-tock, tick-tock?
Oh, it's my old watch
You're doing this on purpose Are you trying to make me lose my temper?
It loses itself
If you don't want to come back don't
Nobody asked you to
I came back because it's your birthday
Do you think I wanted to come back?
Where're you off to?
To have a bowl of won-ton noodles
Give me a simple yes or no
No!
Nasty! I'll go if you ask one more time
Come on then
“Sweet Ding Dong, Sweeter than honey”
“And ever so funny”
“I'm King Kong”
“A bit like James Bond”
What a pair we make
“You get the water, I make the coffee
“I do the washing, you do the ironing
“I make the money, for you to spend
“What a pair we make”
“Any trouble you have, you can share them with me”
“Let's sit down and talk it over”
“If you need help, I'll be right here”
“At your beck and call”
“With you by my side, I'll never be afraid”
“United we're strong”
“I'll look after you”
“Have no fears, rest assured”
“What a pair we make”
Chai-pau! Chai-pau!
“Any trouble you have, you can share them with me”
“Let's sit down and talk it over”
“If you need help, I'll be right here”
“At your beck and call”
“With you by my side, I'll never be afraid”
“United we're strong”
“I'll look after you”
“Don't worry”
“What a pair we make”
“That's what we are”
“Always a pair of aces”
Why so shy?
What's done is done Come make some coffee
I've found out
The other girl is a ballerina
She's leaving for Japan tomorrow
after the final performance at the Academy Community Hall this evening
Then we'll have to move tonight
Wherever I am, I'm always the boss. Okay?
Yes
We move night
Hey!
You two get a move on and get the stuff over there!
Hey! What抮e you two doing here?
- We're... - fans!
Yes, I know. Can't you read: Backstage, no admittance!
Hey you two! What抮e you doing here?
You're on next
What's this swan doing here?
She's an understudy(a stand-by)
Yes I know. A stand-by, to stand by the backstage
Get moving, you're on
You twore in the wrong costume
Ah! You again!
Impostors! Impostors!
Get them! Quick! Get them! Ah!
Wow! What's going on?
Quick! Over there!
We're on next! We're on next! Hurry!
Hey director, you can't throw in stuff
just like that even you've won the Golden Horse Award
What do you mean? He just barged in
Stay right here!
Carry him backstage, quick
Carry him backstage!
What抮e you going? Let me go! Let me go!
Hey! Let me go! That's the one!
Hey Baldy! Here I come!
Get her!
Ma!
Not that one! Let me go!
Sorry
This one?
Right! That's the one
Oh no, what's going on?
Great! Great!
The audience like it!
I'm going to get another award
Great! Excellent!
Go back on!
Go on!
Go, go, go
Nancy, come back Nancy! Nancy!
Curtain call! Quick!
Bring the curtain down! Bring the curtain down!
That's the light bridge
Get it back up!
Sorry, sorry
What抮e you doing?
If you got to change, then get on with it! Over there!
What抮e you looking at!
Cheers!
According to my analysis,
these two hearts are the clues that Joe left when he died
Take away the hearts
and what's left is this bunch of words
Knowing Joe's life-long affection for perversion,
we'll read them accordingly
The first line reads MAP
Amap
Good boy
Hmm, Joe kept saying Kowloon
when he died
So now we'll look at a map of Kowloon
The second line reads P6. p6
The sea
Right!
And what does the final clue B3 stands for?
What?
You won't guess it
I found it! That's B3 right here
Good boy!
So your partner Joe has brains, eh?
A bit like you
So the diamonds must be under the buoy
Naturally
No! I can't swim
Neither can I
Then I'll give you lessons
See, you're doing fine
You international crook!
I've got it!
Stop! After them!
Don't bother. Those are fake ones The real ones are here
Ah! Clever boy!
Damn Baldy!
You come just in time. Here are the diamonds
I'm clean
Sure thing
What are you doing here?
I brought you your car
Don't get in the way
White glove won't turn up
if he smells you cops
Call me if anything happens
I've got the whole force ready
Okay, okay. Now scram
And run a hot bath for me
Yes
Albert, put on some clothes or you'll catch a cold
Don't kid me, you just want to keep watch over me. See what you can do!
Are you ready?
Yes, yes
Didn't you say you've set a dragnet?
Can you tell me about it now?
You can't give away God's design
Anyway it's either you or him this time
What about you?
I'll watch
That's White Glove, the bastard. Hurry, hurry!
I think it's him and not you who'll have it this time
It's not fair to him, us two against him one
Give you a chance to show off yourself, Baldy
What about you?
I'm saving myself for the grand occasion
Hmm
Here's a grand occasion for you
Good. This time we'll round them up at one swoop
Now get the army
What army?
Get out the paging machine and call Chai-pau
I threw that damn thing away
What?
What! You said you've set a dragnet
Yes, but it am not here
What!
Oh no! No! You're just useless
- Let me take the wheel - Cut it out!
Hey hey! Watch out watch out!
Stay put! Let me do it!
Stop the car! Stop stop! Put in reverse! Reverse!
Ah surrender. He surrenders, he surrenders!
You're as bad as your car,
all looks and nothing else
Keep quiet and eat the pineapple
Hey there
Good boy!
You're doing okay, kiddo
I see a lot of stars
Are you okay?
I'm okay
Let's get over there, quick
What's this?
Digging for cover
Good idea
What's this?
The dragnet
Ha, this is fun
Careful now
Let me have a go
Go away
There's still one of them
Let me do it!
Get off!
Ha-ha, you're quite smart
Of course
Are you airtight?
I'm fine
But I'm not
Are you okay?
Help! I can't swim
What's going on?
Move on, move on
Let's break this up
How is he now?
Break it up Nothing to see
Come down here
Let him come along
Doc, he's come on too
Let him. This guy's weird and the other's crazy
A fine pair! Let's go
Thank you
Ha ha ha ha
Big man like you crying like a woman, ha ha ha!
Hey don't get rough
“Any trouble you have, you can share them with me”
“Let's sit down and talk it over”
“If you need help, I'll be right here”
“At your beck and call”
“With you by my side, I'll never be afraid”
“United we're strong”
“I'll look after you”
“Have no fears, rest assured”
“What a pair we make”
“Any trouble you have, you can share them with me”
“Let's sit down and talk it over”
“If you need help, I'll be right here”
“At your beck and call”
“With you by my side, I'll never be afraid”
“United we're strong”
“I'll look after you”
“Don't worry”
“What a pair we make”
“That's what we are”
“Always a pair of aces”